A Short Forever

A Short Forever by Cassidy Weeks

The end came sooner than I thought
We had a shorter forever than I had in mind

Looking back it looked so distant
And that was reassuring because I wanted our days to stretch on and on
But somewhere along the road, we reached top speed
And we all but chased our ending into the sunset

Now that we aren’t together I can see we ended when we were meant to
But my heart still isn’t on the same page
It had made a home for you in the little space it had left
And it is still waiting for your return

And it wants to me to find you
So much so, that I fall asleep on my side of the bed but wake up on yours
Because even in my sleep my body allows my heart to search for you

My brain and my heart have different definitions of forever
My mind knows that forevers are incalculable and depend on circumstance
And though I know our forever is gone I will continue to carry it with me
Because my soul cannot yet move past merging with yours and then having to let you go

Pieces by Cassidy Weeks

I find it hard to give pieces of me anymore
I am unsure of how many of them are left
Too early I gave too many
I gave without reservation
I gave without question of their return
Is there a way to check if you are whole?
When you lose someone whom you gave a piece of yourself,
Is there a way to get it back?

I am not sure there is
That is why you have to be wise about who you trust with yourself
You have to wise about who you give yourself to
Contrary to this, I am learning you shouldn’t shut everyone out
I am working on being less afraid of getting close to others
Working on being less afraid to let people in
Because I think the people who share pieces of themselves with you
Could be who make you whole again

To the Moon by Cassidy Weeks

To say I love you to the moon and back would be a lie
Because that would imply that I would willing leave your side
Or that a quantifiable distance could encompass our love

I let you in before I needed you,
Clung to you when my world imploded and my life depended on it
When the dust settled you helped me up
Brushed me off and held me till I could hold up myself
You didn’t leave when it was hard and you didn’t leave when you could
You have known all my cracks and have mended them with kisses
And you knew all of my fears and have nurtured them into dreams

It’s hard to let others know us
But I have waged war on my fear of abandonment
I have bet my cards on the chance of finding my other half within you
And I have conquered and I remain victorious
Because you know me to my very core and still wake up every day and choose me

For your pain is my pain and your joy is my joy
Where you go I will follow even in death
You have made the same vows
And though you alone hold the key to my destruction
I am not afraid

You are in every part of my being
You have touched every aspect of my life
There is not a day where I wouldn’t want you by my side
But if fate should separate us
We would never truly be apart
Because I now hold so many pieces of you
And I revere them so much and hold them so close
That I can scarcely tell where you end and I begin

To say I love you to the moon and back would be a lie
Because love is too finite a word to describe the way my soul burns for yours

To Belong by Cassidy Weeks

I think my trauma had ruined me
My early twenties have been about rebuilding myself
It’s a brick by brick process
That came with no instructions

It started by being vulnerable with one person
And letting them know all of me
Insecurities and everything
And they became my heart
The part of me that is accepting
And that values my individuality

Then that expanded to a few close friends
Who I let add bricks of love
Because sometimes you try to make yourself unlovable
Rather than to allow people to love you
But they fought their way in with the small space I gave them

When they started to add bricks too
The processes started to move along
And suddenly I was house
That could hold dreams and memories
Hopes and wishes
And could allow people in
But knew where to have walls or boundaries

Now I am capable of becoming a home
When before I only had shelter material
And the change occurred by a cascade of events
Started by a vulnerability
Of letting myself have something I didn’t think I deserved

It turned out I was always deserving
I just needed to work on the foundation
And once I let others in
It was easier to see the vision and my potential
To become and make my own belonging

<img class="wp-block-coblocks-author__avatar-img" src="https://evepoetry.files.wordpress.com/2021/08/5863a-kaitlyn-baker-vzjdyl5jvxy-unsplash.jpg&quot; alt="<strong>Cassidy Weeks
Cassidy Weeks

Cassidy Weeks is a 23-year-old medical student from the United States. She uses poetry as a way to express herself and connect with others. Her passion for poetry stems from her love of reading. In her free time, she likes to spend time with her husband and two dogs. She is honored to get the opportunity to share her words with others. 

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